The axe forgets, but the tree remembers

"The axe forgets, but the tree remembers" is a Zambian proverb that speaks to the lasting impact of harm or wrongdoing. It suggests that the one causing harm (the axe) may soon forget their actions, while the one who is hurt (the tree) carries the memory for a long time. 

This proverb highlights the imbalance in how pain is experienced and remembered by those involved.

Take the example of Hodan. She had a close friend who repeatedly let her down by canceling plans at the last minute without a valid reason. Each time, her friend quickly apologized and seemed to move on, as if nothing had happened. However, Hodan found it increasingly difficult to forget the hurt caused by her friend's behavior. Though her friend treated each incident as trivial, Hodan’s feelings of disappointment and neglect lingered. Over time, these small incidents built up in Hodan’s memory, leading her to rethink their friendship, even though her friend might not recall the harm she caused.

In a personal relationship, this proverb can be applied by emphasizing the importance of being mindful of how our actions affect others. Even small acts of thoughtlessness can leave deep emotional scars that the other person may remember for a long time. To maintain trust and harmony, it’s crucial to show empathy and take responsibility for the consequences of our actions, ensuring we don’t "forget" the hurt we may have caused.

In a professional setting, the proverb reminds us that our words and decisions as leaders or colleagues can have lasting effects on others. A manager might forget a harsh critique or dismissive comment made in a stressful moment, but the employee may carry the sting of that comment for years, impacting their morale or self-esteem.

The lesson we can learn is that while the one causing harm may forget, those affected often remember. Therefore, we should approach our relationships with care, empathy, and awareness of the lasting effects of our actions.

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