Tuesday, July 15, 2025

A man who uses force is afraid of reasoning

The Kenyan proverb "A man who uses force is afraid of reasoning" highlights the tendency of individuals to rely on pressure or coercion when they cannot win others over through logical argument. When someone feels threatened by the power of sound reasoning, they may resort to manipulation or even force to get their way. This behavior reflects an inner fear of being challenged or proven wrong. It reveals that the person lacks confidence in their argument and resorts to control, avoiding open dialogue.

Take the example of Mabinty, a young woman facing a difficult decision in her relationship. Her boyfriend, Norbert, insists that they should have a baby together, even though they are not married and lack any commitment to a long-term future. Mabinty is hesitant because she knows that having a child without a strong foundation or marriage can have serious consequences. 

If Norbert leaves her after the child is born, she could end up raising the baby alone, which would bring both emotional and financial stress. She would also face societal judgment and possibly feel ashamed, as she might be labeled a "baby mama"—a term that carries stigma in certain cultures.

Norbert, instead of reasoning with Mabinty and addressing her concerns, is trying to pressure her into this decision. This fits the meaning of the proverb: Norbert avoids discussing the possible long-term consequences, such as their lack of commitment, the child’s future, and Mabinty's well-being. 

Instead, he pushes for his way, revealing his fear of engaging in honest conversation about the deeper implications of such a choice. If Norbert truly believed in their relationship and the decision to have a child, he would have nothing to fear from reasoning through the issue with Mabinty. His insistence on force shows that he is afraid of where reason would lead.

The proverb teaches us that those who resort to force often lack confidence in their beliefs and fear the power of reasoned discussion, highlighting the importance of open dialogue.


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