Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Do not call a dog with a whip in your hand

The Sudanese proverb “Do not call a dog with a whip in your hand” carries a profound lesson about the importance of approach and intention in our interactions with others. This proverb suggests that one should not expect positive responses or cooperation when one is in a position of aggression or hostility.

It underscores the significance of empathy, kindness, and understanding in our relationships. Calling a dog with a whip symbolizes an invitation marred by the threat of punishment, suggesting that fear and coercion are ineffective means of fostering trust or goodwill.

Consider the example of Palesa, a young woman navigating a challenging relationship with her toxic family. Palesa often found herself frustrated by her family’s inability to communicate effectively. In moments of anger, she would confront her relatives with a tone that resembled the whip—sharp and threatening.

This approach not only alienated her family members but also exacerbated conflicts. When she realized the wisdom behind the proverb, Palesa decided to change her method of communication. Instead of resorting to criticism or anger, she began to express her feelings calmly and constructively, focusing on understanding rather than punishment.

Implementing the lesson from this proverb in Palesa’s life required a shift in perspective. She recognized that in order to mend her relationship with her family, she needed to create a safe environment for open dialogue. By choosing to approach her family without hostility, she found that they were more willing to engage and listen. This change in approach fostered a space for healing, where feelings could be expressed without fear of retribution.

The lesson we learn from this proverb is that kindness and understanding can build bridges where fear and aggression only create barriers. By reframing our approach to others, as Palesa did, we can foster healthier relationships, paving the way for resolution and reconciliation. This proverb serves as a reminder that the manner in which we reach out to others greatly influences the responses we receive.


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